It feels like we need to be mind readers to figure out the problems we encounter with horses.
I talk with people often and they list their horses' inexplicable behaviours in frustration.
Why doesn’t she want to be caught?
Why is he refusing the jumps?
Is it a training problem or a personality quirk?
Why is she always so grumpy?
Is it a feel good buck or a feel bad buck?
Something just feels off - what is it?
25 Questions listed below
Often we answer these questions with what has worked in the past
- answering from our bank of skills & experience.
This works most of the time, especially if we have accumulated a wide array of answers from a diverse amount of experience…
But coming across a ‘problem’ horse that rejects all of your solutions can leave you feeling stumped, confused, angry or desperate.
So how do we find the answer when we cannot ask them with our spoken language? Is there a way to bridge this gap? Can we communicate with our horses without saying a word?
“Love will find its way through all languages on its own.” - Rumi
What do instincts have to say?
Horses are the epitome of instinctual beings and they most definitely communicate loud & clear when their instincts tell them that the horse trailer or the far corner of the arena is probably full of monsters.
When we are face down in a puddle or on the losing end of a tug of war we have received the instinctive message loud and clear - but was the horse telling us long before and we just never picked up on the message?
I believe our intuition tunes us into a non-verbal form of communication that horses and asking questions is how we develop & verbalise this sense
So what’s the difference between instinct and intuition?
They’re a bit similar but their differences are important
Instinct for a prey animal automatically imprints danger into the immediate unknown and elicits the responses that have kept them alive for thousands of years.
It motivates as a drive from behind through fear & anxiety.
Intuition can be a thought, vision or a sensation in your body that pulls you in a direction that feels good to you.
It motivates by inspiring you forward through excitement, preference or calmness.
Intuition is experienced differently for everyone but it can usually be verbalised:
“Ahh yes that feels right!”
“I like the idea of this, let’s do it!”
"I didn't really think, I just found myself doing it."
“Nope, not that one.”
Instinct comes from a deeper place that doesn’t have the ability to be verbalised. Its messages go straight to the nervous system to engage the muscles.
Making the jump between I and Other
How connected are we really?
OK, so it makes sense that we could ask ourselves questions and find the answers but how can we find the answer to another being's problem? Can your intuition connect to your horse's mind?
The Empathy Bridge
Empathy is an evolutionary adaptation for herds, packs or groups throughout many species.
Empathy is our ability to feel into another’s senses, their emotions or state of their nervous system.
To be aware of this subtle undercurrent and be able to react and adapt to it is an efficient form of non-verbal communication that has served our survival.
Tuning into your intuition - with your mind on your horse - will open this doorway of communication.
Reaching that meditative state where those subtle messages are relayed is how you will understand your horse's problems and how to solve them.
Asking questions is requesting a dialogue with our inner Sage
When we ask a question - we are coming into contact with the unknown. We don’t know what lies behind that door but we knock on it with curiosity.
The part of our psyche that answers the door is our inner Sage.
That voice of intuition, in Jungian terms, is our internal Sage - the one that knows all answers to the obstacles in front of us. It is the seeker of truth and giver of wisdom - in literature this is Gandalf, Dumbledore, Yoda & Morpheus.
There are other parts of our psyche also - the Inner Child, the Trickster, the Hero. All of them have their perspectives. In Jungian analysis, we enter into dialogue with these archetypes of the psyche by asking questions and interpreting symbols through dreamwork or conversation.
Asking a question about a problem or obstacle with sincerity is encouraging the Sage within us to come forth and bring its wisdom.
Asking your horse a question
Presenting your horse with an obstacle or certain task is asking them a question.
Helping them to see that the trailer/jump/pressure/flag can feel good to them is acting as their guide to find calm & enjoyment.
In this scenario, you are acting as your horse’s Sage - the one that knows and guides with wisdom and patience.
Their prey instincts will bias that unknown with danger, so when we open that door for our horse we assure them with as much non-verbal communication we can muster that it is a safe place.
It takes practice to tune into this subtle way of listening but in order to hear the full story we need to be open to the answer being ‘no’.
Asking REAL questions means allowing a horse to say ‘NO’
When I was learning to train horses, the most prevalent piece of advice was ‘make the wrong thing hard and the right thing easy’. This training technique does work - quite well even - but I have some problems with it now.
We forget that horses can also be motivated through their own sense of excitement or preference if they are given the space to, just like us.
This doesn’t mean we need to do treat or clicker training - those are valid forms of training but not the only way - horses can be motivated through their own sense of curiosity, excitement and motivation to maintain a sense of calm.
So, rather than the old way of thinking, I now think like this:
Allow the ‘wrong’ thing but make the right thing enjoyable or comfortable and ask questions until you come to the reason why they said no.
This is essentially the horse training equivalent of following your bliss.
When a horse does answer with no, allowing or validating that answer is key. They have a good reason somewhere in that instinctive body & mind of theirs to refuse the jump, avoid capture, pull back or run away.
Reasons we avoid asking questions
Asking a real question means being open to not liking the answer.
Being hesitant to ask a question means we are already aware on some level of what that answer could be.
Our subconscious may even drive us into situations where this question is asked of us again and again…
So, we leave it alone & hidden, unasked and therefore, safely unanswered.
The issue is that when we leave those questions unasked with our horses - their small ‘no’s’- that we pick up through intuition - become BIG ‘no’s’ - which takes us back to all of those scenarios at the beginning of the article.
Carl Jung, father of the analytical branch of psychology that explores subconscious drives - Jungian analysis, has great insight into why we need to explore those questions:
“Until you make the unconscious conscious it will rule your life and you will call it fate.”
Facing the questions can be hard but it will be a lot harder if you don’t. Asking those questions might mean changing your entire belief structure and horse training practices which is a thread we hesitate to pull.
Now let’s put our curiosity hats on and get to asking some questions!
Close your eyes for a few seconds, take a few deep breaths and visualise the problem you have - remain as neutral about it as possible and then go through this list until something stands out at you.
Is the problem physical, emotional or situational?
Is this the real root problem?
Is there someone I can call right now that would provide good information?
Am I open to the solution taking me outside of my comfort zone?
When I visualise the horse/person/etc to think of a solution, do any strong images or thoughts come to mind?
Is it possible that there are multiple factors at play?
When & where exactly does this behaviour occur?
How can I improve my communication with my horse?
What resources (books, videos, trainers) can provide guidance on this issue?
Am I approaching this problem with patience and an open mind?
How do other horses in the same environment behave?
Is the horse/person able to express themselves freely with me?
Is this a problem or a normal instinctual behaviour?
Could the solution be found through encouraging freer expression?
Do any memories or persistent thoughts occur while I ponder this problem?
Do I have a bias or judgement towards a particular answer/set of answers?
Am I allowing my horse to say their small ‘no’
Is time going to make this better or worse?
Am I willing to learn a new skill to solve this?
Do I have any subtle aversion to the problem being solved?
Am I able to admit that I may be the possible cause of this problem?
If I sit with this problem quietly do emotions like shame or judgements arise?
How is my internal dialogue treating itself throughout this problem solving?
Am I comfortable with cultivating silence in order for an idea to arise?
Does this problem present itself in a similar form in other areas of my life?
Shop brvcreative prints on Etsy
All of this knowledge is a lot to take in & we must be gentle with ourselves when we approach these questions.
Early 20th century poet, Rainer Maria Rilke, guides us on how to sit with this information in that quiet, understanding voice that poets know so well:
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart
And try to love the questions themselves,
Like locked rooms and like books
that are now written in a very foreign tongue.
Do not now seek the answers,
Which cannot be given you
because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is,
To live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps you will then gradually,
Without noticing it,
Live along some distant day into the answer.”
About the Author
Bridie is a photographer, writer & coach for equestrians pursuing an aim.
Portraits, prints & coaching sessions are available to help you find your purpose & reflect the beauty of the life you’ve created.
Horses are an inspiring vision that motivates us to achieve our goals and become enlightened in the process - discover encouragement, articles & ideas to help you on your journey at brvcreative.co.nz
